Responsibility

Faith is our greatest gift; its sharing with others, our greatest responsibility. — Anonymous

Places and things never wronged us. We justify old actions when we flame other things for what we once did to ourselves. This can cause us to return to old behaviors.

We want to give up all stinking thinking. We cannot safely act the way we think we are expected to, but we can work at being ourselves.

We take risks only if they aim at spiritual progress. We become assertive only in seeking whatever can help us grow. Above all, we must try to stop being a “blame thrower” and start shouldering our responsibilities. If we react with compassion, understanding, and love, then we will achieve spiritual progress. If we let ourselves be hurt or angry or full of self-pity, we achieve no growth and accept no responsibility.

It’s not always what happens that is my responsibility; it’s how I react to what happens.

Today’s Meditation from:

Easy Does It: A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations from Hazelden Meditations

The Old-Timer

So there I was: four months out of rehab in Waterville, Maine, my wife and I celebrating the miracle of our fifteenth wedding anniversary. The miracle, of course, was that there was a fifteenth wedding anniversary after the dual meat grinders of addiction and codependency. We chose Waterville for this revelry because our regular weekly aftercare session took place there at the local rehab. We went to a movie and ate dinner at Pizza Hut; then, about two hours before the session began, I freaked.

All of the withdrawal I went through in rehab hit me at the same time. I tried to stop the feelings with predictable results: a five-alarm anxiety attack that literally had me climbing the walls. Shakes, sweats, headache and joint pain–it reminded me of some of the mornings I thought I had left behind for good. Flashbacks are very useful in that regard. They are previews of coming attractions should I decide to go out again.

It just seemed to be getting worse and worse, and I didn’t know what to do. If I had had a sponsor, I could have called him, but I didn’t have a sponsor. If I had had some telephone numbers, I could have called someone, but I didn’t have any numbers. If there had been a meeting, I could have gone to that, but we didn’t know of any meetings at that hour. In several hours, however, there would be a meeting at the rehab where we did aftercare, and sometimes the recovering folk show up early. My wife aimed the car at the rehab, and we flew.

When we reached the chemical dependency floor, I grabbed the first grizzled-looking old-timer I could find, sat him down, and unloaded. I dumped how I felt, not just the pain and panic, but the embarrassment. For some reason, going through that flashback in front of my wife was the worst kind of humiliation. I must have talked for an hour, and when I was done, the panic attack was over. I was feeling much better and very grateful to this wise recovery elder who had loaned me his ears, so I asked him, “How long have you been in the program?”

He looked at me with sad eyes and a wan smile as he said, “All day.”

Today’s Meditation from

Yesterday’s Tomorrow: Recovery Meditations for Hard Cases by Barry L.

Daily Reminder

An A.A. veteran, the main speaker at an anniversary meeting, sat waiting for almost two hours while other speakers dramatized many subjects–some of them foreign to A.A. Finally he was introduced. He spoke for thirty minutes, inspiring us with the humble virtues of A.A. His subject? Love and service.

DAILY INVENTORY

Have we ever visualized the power of true humility? Do we seek contented sobriety or A.A. recognition? Are our efforts inspired by love and service?

SUGGESTED MEDITATION

The truly great members of A.A. are all humble members. They give freely of their talent but seek no praise. The publicity seeker is different. He lacks humility and openly courts acclaim but never seems to feel small about it. We can be either great or small in A.A., but as we sacrifice our vanities upon the altar of A.A. service we will rise and grow in stature and gain recognition without seeking it.

SPIRITUAL CONTACT

Our Father, knowing the weakness of our vanity, we pray for the strength of humility. Reveal our need for love and service. Make us worthy A.A. servants.

DAILY PHYSICAL AUDIT

Alcohol does not contribute to diabetes, but diabetes can contribute to relapses. We find verification of this fact in the lives of our diabetics who, suffering from complications of their primary illness, go on a mental spree and end up drunk. A.A. diabetics have two incurable diseases to arrest. They should adhere strictly to their diet. Undue physical and mental effort must be avoided. Infection and neglect may lead to gangrene, blindness and death.

Today’s Meditation from:

Stools and Bottles by Anonymous